What a Great Idea

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

- Groucho Marx

Crazier

I think I found my wings.

Time Stops

Tonight I looked up and saw the moon. The sky was so clear, the moon was almost half full with a halo around it. A bright star twinkled.

I shivered from the cold, but I just had to look at the moon for a few more minutes.

This Is How I Want to Feel

I am guilty. Guilty of listening to this song performed by Garth Brooks and written by Bob Dylan more times then I will ever admit. The true romantic in me can't help it.

To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing' that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothin' like me yet

There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

-Bob Dylan

Mentally Tired

This has been a difficult weekend. I am torn up inside and just need to find some peace in sleep.

I need to find the shard of strength I have left, and hide it.

Rearview Mirror

Today I found a journal entry from January of 2010. In it, I wrote:

"So we can easily spend an entire life looking in a rear view mirror. Looking back. Wondering...what if? Wanting to participate in everything occurring around us, yet pretending to be content standing on the sidelines."

A few months later, I wrote:

"I am so depressed and sad. I wish I could make all of this pass."

As I read the entries this morning, I cried. I cried, and wished I could put my arms around my former self and tell her it is going to be okay. Tell her she will one day stop looking in the rear view mirror and smile again.

But most importantly, I would tell her she will feel alive again someday.

Emptiness

I don't like feeling empty inside.

It is easy to blame other people for the emptiness I sometimes feel.

I realized, giving so much of myself, and not wanting to give it, has made me feel empty inside. All along, it has been a choice.

I realized when I give from the heart, what I choose to give, I don't feel empty.