I had two horrible playground accidents as a child. I am not sure how old I was when the first one happened, but I think I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. My family was visiting my mom's cousins and all the kids walked to the local school playground for the afternoon. There was one of the old-fashioned, really tall slides made completely of metal. I remember climbing really, really slow up the ladder portion of the slide. When I got to the top of the slide, I remember just standing there thinking about being up so high. I wasn't afraid of the height, I just remember feeling emptiness and space around me.
And I remember falling. Falling, backwards towards the ground. Not sure what happened when I stood at the top of the slide, maybe I closed my eyes to feel the wind on my face, I don't know. I still remember the feeling of falling, and how the air rushed around me, and I felt breathless. I don't remember hitting the ground.
Apparently, I passed out when I landed. The children in the group walked me back to my great-aunt's house, and I played inside the rest of the day.
The second accident occurred when I was about ten years old. On the school playground, during recess, I was sitting on the parallel bars when I lost balance and hit the back of my head, just above the nape of my neck on the other parallel bar. I don't remember the actual accident, but I do remember the pain. I was taken to a hospital and observed for a concussion. I distinctly remember reaching around to touch the back of my head and it felt, the best, but yet the grossest way to describe it, spongy. Apparently, it was filled with blood. Even today when I touch the back of my head, I can imagine the pain I felt as a fourth grader.
So how did my two playground accidents affect me as an adult?
I have very few vivid memories of my childhood and I suspect it is partially as a result of these two accidents. I can look at pictures and my sister will tell me stories of our childhood, but I can't honestly say I remember the actual event.
The other impact it had is my fear of my children getting injured on playground equipment. Although they are all older now, when they were younger, it was very hard for me to watch them play at the playground. There was a park we use to go to once a year up north that still had an old, large metal slide and I still remember Madeline climbing up the ladder, and how I felt dizzy watching her.
But I kept my fear inside, because I do remember how fun it was to slide towards the ground on the shiny metal. To let them enjoy the fun of slides, swings and monkey bars, and not to let my fears spoil their fun, Ben willingly took them to the playground.
