Fate

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

~Steve Jobs

Ode to Little Teddy

When I was sorting through my box of memories, I came across the following poem I wrote when I was maybe ten years old. It made me smile.

The Teddy Bear

Sitting here waiting for my owner,
Where could she be?
As soon as she leaves in the morning,
I realize how much I miss her.

I really love her,
Even though she chews on my ears.
She's a good owner,
Except one time she pulled my fur.

At night when she cuddles me,
I feel so close.
One time I fell out of bed,
She giggled.
Then she picked me up,
and brushed my fur.

I lost an eye once because of her,
Her mom threw me in the dryer.
They said I needed to be washed,
But my little owner said I was fine.

I spun round and round,
Well my owner cried.
Then I popped out,
Hair in my glass eyes.
Then she hugged me.

Would She Be Happy?

I spent a little while today looking through a box of items I saved from my youth. Almost everything in the box was from when I was younger than twenty years old.

Amongst many diaries, I found one I wrote when I was ten years old. I found my first driver’s license. There were stacks of letters I wrote to people in my life, and never sent. I touched countless journals of poetry I wrote in my youth. I scanned over love letters from people I haven’t thought of in years. I looked through several sketch books with drawings. I found a hall pass from my favorite high school teacher. I read papers I wrote about life, death and dying, and fairy tales.

I noticed how my handwriting has changed over the years, yet I could still see some similarities to my handwriting of today. I noticed the topics I wrote about then, are topics I am still trying to figure out. In the drawings, I could recognize my style, although I like to think it is a bit more refined. In the letters, I could see my compassion and caring of other people. In the poetry, as I read the first line, the words I wrote came back to me and I could recite the poem to the end.

I could see myself as the young girl, but I started to wonder. Did the young girl who packed away the items in the box, see me when she thought of herself as a woman? Would she be happy if she saw who she became?

I wish I could ask her.

Kitten Mittens

I love mittens!

What makes me even happier are mittens with kittens on them. How can you not smile when you look at them?

I am sure the cold winter months will be much brighter when I look at the palms of my hands and Kitten Mitten is smiling at me. We will have many great adventures together!

Andrew's Thanksgiving Menu

Andrew's favorite holiday, without a doubt, is Thanksgiving.

He started reminding me a week or so ago, his annual countdown to Thanksgiving Day. I couldn't help but laugh. About five years ago, we were talking about our favorite holidays and the traditions that go along with them.

When the room was quiet, Andrew, who is usually very soft spoken said aloud, with increasing gusto in his voice, "Turkey.......corn......mashed potatoes....... gravy........YEEEESSSSS!" We all started laughing because it sounded so funny.

Today, Andrew and I were planning the menu for Thanksgiving dinner. He knows how much I like to cook and thinks I make the best, well, everything. I asked what he thought we should make this year.

He looked at me with laughter in his eyes and said, "Turkey....corn....mashed potatoes...." I chimed in and we both said, "gravy.....YEEEESSSSS!"

Being silly, we both started laughing, and I admired his beautiful smile.

I Need to Remind Myself

"No longer forward nor behind,

I look in hope or fear;

But grateful take the good I find,

The best of now and here."

-John Greenleaf Whittier

My Best Friend

Today is my best friend’s birthday.

I met Rochelle almost twenty years ago when I interviewed her for a position at Wayne State University. She was late for the interview because of the weather, but I was working late anyways, and told her it was fine.

Little did I know on that day, her career would begin at the university and I would for the first time in my life, have a best friend.

I had been married less than a year, with no children. She had been married for a while and it turns out was pregnant with her first child. I eventually would leave the department we both worked in and take a position in another building, but we would often meet for lunch. A year later, fate would have it I took a position down the hall from her office. Almost every morning we would meet in my office to eat breakfast together and visit.

She eventually left the university, we both added to our families and we stayed in touch. There were a few years when we did not talk as much as we both would have liked, but I knew if I ever needed anything, she was a phone call away.

As our children grew, they developed a cousin relationship with each other and our families have shared vacations, weekends and birthdays together. She and I have shared many laughs and just as in any great friendship, we have shared our sorrows also.

We laugh because we are different, yet our strengths and weaknesses complement each other. She teases me about my glue, crayon and glitter obsessions, but I know she will keep the promise to sprinkle glitter all over my coffin and grave site if I should die first. The other day, she had me laughing so hard when we were talking about cleaning out my closet, and she looked at me and said “You have a completely different relationship with your clothes than I do.”

She shares with me the books she is reading for her book club, knowing me well enough to know if I would like a particular book, or not. She was patient enough, with Ben’s help, to teach me how to play Euchre. We talk about our children and families, along with the joy and tribulations that come with being a daughter, wife and mom. My children love her as an aunt, and have many wonderful memories of the times they have shared with her.

Although we live much closer to each other now, then when our friendship first began, we still both not so secretly wish we were next door neighbors. A thirty-five minute drive is not that far, but when you need to see your best friend, it may as well be five hours away. We talk about when we are older, we will go to each other's house and sit on the porch. We will talk about all the fun we have had together, and look back on our friendship and smile. Of course, the houses will be right next door to each other.

To my best friend in the world, I wish you the happiest of birthdays! I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are the bestest, and always will be. I love you.