Happy Leap Day!

When I was growing up, I was so disappointed I wasn't born on Leap Day. It wasn't until I was older that I discovered the year I was born was not a Leap Year. Oh well.

An Extra Day?

Dang Leap Day! I have to wait an extra day for my birthday! lol

Struggle

I struggle. I can't focus. I don't want to go back to my old life, but it seems to me it would be much easier for everyone.

World's Greatest Children

Sometimes I feel bad because I have been so focused on myself lately. I question whether I have neglected my children in order to focus on myself. I remind myself that I need to be happy in order to be the best mom to the world's greatest children.

Community Service

I have always felt it is important to do community service. I stopped doing a lot of things over the past year, but right now, I really need to focus on myself. Someday, I hope to recommit to helping others.

Want to Help

I don't remember a lot of conflict with the older kids when they were pre-teens. I really want to help my youngest sort through some issues. I wish I could help him, I just have to figure out how.

Feeling Wanted

It was so nice to see my parents more over the past few months. The best part was when I was leaving my parent's house was when my mom hugged me and said she "was sad to see me go."

Decisions

Making a decision, and finding out later if it was right or wrong, is better then making no decision. I wish I was encouraged as a child to take risks.

Will I Find Happiness?

Why is life so complicated? I never thought my life would come to the point it has. I am confused. I want to be happy, but I am unsure of what will make me happy.

Song That Won't Let Go

Every once in awhile, I get a song stuck in my head, and I suddenly will hear myself singing it aloud. Right now the song is Crazier by Taylor Swift. A simple song.

I'd never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go to
You open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

I've watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes
And you made me believe

Baby you showed me what living is for
I don't wanna hide anymore
Oh oh

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier, crazier

How Tall Are You?

As I was standing next to my son, Andrew, looking in the mirror, I teased him that he is a little taller than me. He laughed and smiled his boyish smile, but looked slightly irritated.

I asked him if people still comment on his height.

"Every day."

Surprised, I asked him what people say.

" "How tall are you?" is the what people ask most of the time."

"Really? How often do people ask you?"

"Every day."

We both smiled in the mirror as I pulled him close and hugged him.

Friendship

As I watch my daughter grow up, I understand how important it is for her to learn about friendship. To learn about sharing and caring, and how friendship is the foundation to all relationships in her life and not to take them for granted.

To not be afraid to show her true feelings, nor pretend for the sake of hurting another, to express feelings she doesn't have.

Don't pretend.

Peace

Before I know it, I will reach the one year mark of the beginning of my journey. This journey has included taking the time to repair and restore myself emotionally, physically and mentally.

However, it now encompasses much more in my life. It has evolved into my reflecting on how I want to spend the remainder of my life. I need to find inner peace.

Faith

Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.

- Kahlil Gibran

Faith is what has been carrying me through my journey. Faith in knowing that the path I am choosing may be difficult, but knowing in my heart it is the path of destiny.

Believe

It was kind of sad today as I looked around the house with all the Valentine's Day decorations, and thought it may be the day to pack them away for next year.

I know the red, pink and white lights decorating the mantle, the rose covered hearts hanging on the wall and the heart covered table cloth may be a bit much for the holiday, but I can't help but smile when I look at them.

It reminds me of something I believe in that makes me feel alive.

Love.

Happy Valentine's Day

Two such as you with such a master speed,
cannot be parted nor be swept away,
from one another once you are agreed,
that life is only life forevermore,
together wing to wing and oar to oar.

-Robert Frost

How can I resist posting such a beautiful quote on Valentine's Day?

Hope

I found my strength today. I knew it was hiding in me somewhere, but I wasn't sure how much remained. The strength is there, I just need to believe in myself.

A Perfect Place to Wait

“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”

― JM Barrie, Peter Pan

I still think this is one of the most romantic quotes. The concept is powerful.

You Belong To Me

In the movie Shrek, it is very romantic when Shrek and Princess Fiona are sitting near a campfire having dinner on the last day of their journey.

Princess Fiona: Mmmm... This is good... mmm... this is really good... what is it?
Shrek: A weed rat, cooked rotisserie style!
Princess Fiona: No kidding... Oh, this is delicious!
Shrek: Well, they're also great in stews. Now I don't mean to brag, but I make a MEAN weedrat stew! [They both look over at the kingdom of Duloc]
Princess Fiona: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night...
Shrek: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime... I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you: swamp toad soup, fish-eye tartar, you name it!
Princess Fiona: I'd like that... [he sucks up a weedrat tail, and awkwardly laughs. She smiles back at him, and their eyes meet. In the background, a love ballad, "You Belong To Me," plays]
Shrek: Um... Princess?
Princess Fiona: Yes... Shrek?
Shrek: I... um... I was wondering... are you... um... are you going to eat that? [he makes a gesture of frustration when she isn't looking. She places the weedrat in his hand, and they lean towards each other... ]

I think the person that said the one word definition of a fairy tale is SHARING is absolutely right. I would share my weedrat in a heartbeat.

Good Deed

It makes me feel good to think visiting people brightens their day. The bonus for me, is being able to smile for making someone else feel special.

Face the Day

Sometimes you need to have someone tell you to unwrap yourself from the fuzzy blanket and get out of the comfy chair.

Laughter at Dinner

Today was a particularly stressful day. But I heard something I haven't heard in awhile.

Laughter at the dinner table.

Safety Goggles

Benjamin is very creative, and I never know what device or apparatus will end up on the kitchen counter daily.

Today, he made a carbon dioxide, simple for lack of better term, distillery. Of course, it involved plastic cups, water bottle, multiple straws and a mixture of sugar, water and yeast.

Madeline saw this apparatus on the counter, and in a not so lady like fashion inquired as to the purpose of the device.

Laughing, I advised her to leave it alone. She couldn't resist and squeezed the water bottle.

Later when I was picking up Benjamin, the two of us decided to play a prank on Madeline.

Considering how gullible she is, Benjamin walked in the house and approached Madeline.

Benjamin: "Madeline. You know that thing on the counter? I don't want Mom to get mad, but I need to tell you. Whatever you do, don't squeeze the bottle. If you do it releases A LOT of poison gas into the air. It could be dangerous."

A few minutes later as I enter the room.

Madeline: "Mom? You know how you told us we should never tattle unless it is life threatening? Ummm. That thing on the counter releases poison gas and I squeezed the bottle making it release a lot more."

Benjamin and I burst out laughing. Yes, she is gullible. However, I think I need to keep some safety goggles in the kitchen because who knows what he is going to build. Now that I think about it, maybe a fire extinguisher.

Am I Really Different, or Just Me?

I have been told multiple times that I have changed and I am a different person.

I don't think so.

I think I have become the person I am suppose to be.

The Gift of Poetry

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.

--Khalil Gibran

Many years ago, I befriended a geologist at Wayne State University. He gave The Prophet by Khalil Gibran to me as a gift. Every once in awhile, I turn to this book of poetry and find something new, or read something again with new eyes.

His words have soothed my soul and provoked my thoughts. I am grateful to the man who introduced me to this poet, and now, so many years later, wonder what compelled him to give this gift to me.

Definitely, Maybe

In the fall, I wrote about something a priest said that bothered me. Many months later, I stand my ground.

I guess he never saw the love story of Will and April.

Betta Mating Endeavours

Tonight I took Benjamin to four stores in search of a female betta fish. Finally, the last pet store had one lone, remaining female and in minutes she was whisked home as a companion for Zen, the male betta.

Between stores, Benjamin educated me on the successful pairing of the male and female betta, along with detailed description of their reproductive habits. I wish them well in their mating endeavours, although I was informed she may be killed by Zen during the mating process.

It doesn't sound very Zen-like to me.

Sissy Groundhog

Happy Groundhog Day! I can never remember what it means if the groundhog sees his shadow. However, today I learned if he sees his shadow it scares him, he goes back into the ground and the prediction is we will endure six more weeks of winter.

I was told he is a sissy.

The groundhog in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, Phil: sissy.
The groundhog at the Howell Nature Center in Michigan, Woody: not a sissy.

I wonder who ever came up with the idea?

What a Great Idea

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

- Groucho Marx