Farewell 2011

I wish I could write some profound words for my last blog of 2011, but the words escape me.

I can feel 2012 lurking in the shadows, getting ready to make his appearance. Hoping for a wonderful year!

Farewell 2011.

Kindness

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

-Stephan Grellet

It is easy to put off acts of kindness. Every once in awhile we need to be reminded the life we have left is the time we have to show our love. We may not have the gift of tomorrow.

My Therapy

September 21, 2011. The day I decided I would write my blog every day for one year. I made a commitment, no matter what I was feeling, I would make the time every day to write something in my blog.

100 posts later and I have managed to write something every day.

When I realized earlier in the week, I would be hitting 100 posts, I smiled.

At that moment, I realized, the blog has become an integral part of my journey, and I now know I will keep the one year commitment.

Winter Break

It is so nice to have the kids home for winter break and not feel rushed to do anything in particular. Once in awhile, we all need to just slow down and enjoy the moments in the day. It is nice to watch Andrew build his Harry Potter Lego set, see Madeline curled up on the couch watching a movie and see Benjamin learning how to use his iPad.

Enjoying every moment.

Angel Wings

Some people know just how to touch my heart.

Today, my best friend, Rochelle, gave me a Christmas ornament of angel wings with a small medallion with the words "follow your bliss."

She told me to always follow my dreams to find my happiness. Of course, tears filled my eyes.

Pixie Dust

I think if I had to pick a favorite Christmas gift it would be a simple, small plaque my sister gave me.

It isn't anything elaborate, expensive, or glamorous by any means.

Just a bit of advice from Peter Pan teaching Wendy how to fly. Faith and trust come from within, but Peter Pan was fortunate to have Tinker Bell to supply him with the pixie dust.

Christmas Day

"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.”

- Andy Rooney

With all the anticipation for Christmas, the day always goes by too quickly for me. I make a conscience effort to put the camera down to enjoy watching everyone open their gifts, and enjoy all the moments that make up the day. I want to remember every moment, every smile and every bit of laughter.

Those moments, smiles and laughter, and a big pile of torn wrapping paper, are what I remember when I think of Christmas Day.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve traditions. Going to mass and leaving an angel ornament on the tree at the church. Sitting on the floor in the family room eating Chinese food while watching the film Elf. Being allowed to open one Christmas gift and it is always pajamas.

How can I not smile?

My Crooked Tree

I saw a beautiful tree last week at The Henry Ford museum. There is currently an exhibit on the Wizard of Oz and a Christmas tree near the entrance is decorated to match the theme.

Sometimes when I see a beautiful tree, I imagine myself creating and displaying such a magnificent tree in my home. However, I am quickly reminded when I look at my crooked, live tree with needles falling on the carpet, decorated with ornaments my children have made over the years, my tree has some thing more magnificent.

My tree has love.

My Christmas Stocking

Yes, my stocking is hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be here.

My Christmas stocking is the same one I have had all my life.

It is worn and not exactly the prettiest stocking, but it has certainly been loved for many years. When we bring out the Christmas decorations, it feels so good to hug my stocking when it comes out of the storage box.

I smile. How many people can say they have had the same Christmas stocking all their life?

Christmas Past

I have such a weakness for vintage Christmas decorations.

I am not sure where I picked up these candle holders. I am always drawn to Christmas items when I see them at flea markets or garage sales. Sometimes I will stand, teary-eyed and wonder who owned them, and cherished them before me. I feel compelled to bring them home, knowing I will appreciate the timeless look and find a special place to display them at Christmas.

I guess it is like collecting memories of Christmas past. Charles Dickens would be proud.

Peace

I knew it would happen eventually. I didn't know the when, or the where, but it happened tonight.

I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping and for a few seconds, everything seemed to slow down around me. Maybe it was because Madeline and I finished the Christmas cards today and I dropped them off at the post office. Or, maybe it was because I bought my mom her favorite perfume as I do every year. Maybe it was because I changed the ring tone on my phone to a quote from the movie Elf.

Whatever the reason, as I drove down the street, the Christmas lights seemed brighter, I felt at peace and the tasks I know I need to complete over the next few days didn't seem so daunting.

Suddenly, it felt like Christmas.

Snowman Quilt

When Andrew was about four years old, he and I made a snowman quilt. Every year, we hang it in the foyer. We picked out pieces of fabric and I remember the small boy who was excited to build the snowman.


I am so happy I made the time to complete projects with the kids when they were little. Right now, their lives are busy with many activities, and it is a time for me to adjust to them growing up.


My life is surrounded by so many of the projects we completed together, and they make me smile.

Just Breathe

I try and give 100% to everything in my life, but this week, I need to remind myself, without a doubt, I always do my best.

Most importantly, I need to remind myself this week to breathe.

Just breathe.

Christmas Books

Every year, I love to see the look on Madeline's face when she opens the large container containing all the children's Christmas books we have accumulated over the years.

She opens the box with a smile on her face, finds herself a comfy spot next to the container and begins the process of shifting through the books. Her eyes light up when she pulls certain books out of the box, as she sorts them into two piles.

The first pile is one with books she just wants to scan, but not necessarily read. The second pile is the books she wants to place in a large basket and keep them out for the Christmas season.

As she sorts them, she comments and laughs about the books. You can see the excitement on her face when she finds the book Christmas is Coming and she giggles as she reminds me she use to keep the book out year round in her bedroom. Of course, there is The Crippled Lamb, The Tale of Three Trees, A Wish to be a Christmas Tree, Arthur's Christmas, Merry Christmas, Biscuit, Winnie the Pooh's Christmas and many other books.

I think I raised a daughter who loves to read.

A Sweet, Thoughtful Gift

Today I received the sweetest, most thoughtful, gift from Benjamin.

When I picked him up after school, he told me he made me a gift, and would like to give it to me today. I asked if it was a Christmas gift because he could put it under the tree for me.

He said, "No, it is a present I want to give to you today."

When we arrived at home, he asked, "Can I give it to you now?"

"Sure, as long as you don't want to wait until Christmas..." I responded.

With a proud smile on his face, he held out in his hands, a mouse pad. As he turned it around so I could see the front, I was so surprised to see a picture of me as a little girl!

"I made the border olive green, Mom, because I know it is your favorite color."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I reached out, pulled him close and hugged him. It was truly a sweet, thoughtful gift.

My Sister

Today is my sister's birthday.

Kimm is my older sister and only sibling, separated by fifteen months. Growing up, my mom dressed Kimm and I in similar clothes, and we were always playmates. Even once we reached our teenage years, Kimm and her friends welcomed me into their group of friends.

We each had our own bedrooms on the second floor of my parent's house, yet I spent many nights sleeping in her bedroom. Once, we actually made her walk in closet into a "bedroom" for me - who knows how long I slept in the closet! I remember around Christmas time going into her bedroom to wrap Christmas presents, and how could I forget the many times she would have me lay on her floor and apply make-up to my eyes!

Kimm has a wonderful laugh (even if she snorts some times)and when we are together, we always find something to laugh about. Sometimes the things we laugh at are so inappropriate, yet that makes it even funnier.

I am so thankful for my sister.

Broken Hearts

As short lived as the romance was, my youngest son now knows the feeling of a broken heart. A note appeared in his locker today, ending the relationship that started a week ago.

When he showed it to me after school with tears in his eyes, I felt so sorry for him. Knowing that nothing I could say, would make him feel any better, I looked at him with tears welling in my eyes and said "I'm sorry. I know it hurts."

He looked back at me and nodded his head.

Christmas Sweaters

Down to the twelve days of Christmas.

Madeline and her friends have been searching for the ugliest Christmas sweaters they could find since the summer months. This morning she came downstairs wearing a red turtleneck with candy canes and a navy blue button down fleece cardigan decorated with a snowman.

What I thought was so funny, I know her intent was to look silly, but reality was she looked adorable!

Christmas Spirit

I need to remind myself during this Christmas season to enjoy the spirit of the holiday. Just take a deep breath, step back and let the wonder of the season fill my heart.

Christmas Cookies

This weekend, I was fortunate to do some Christmas baking. I remember growing up, my mom would always pull out her copy of the The Complete American-Jewish Cookbook at Christmas time for cookie recipes.

My family is not Jewish, nor do I have any Jewish relatives. I have no idea how my mom came across the cookies recipes in the book.

I can't say I use any of the cookie recipes from the book, but every year when it is time to bake cookies, I always think of my mom. She would sit in the kitchen and make a list of all the cookies we would bake.

Now, I ask the kids what cookies they want, and I go to my favorite recipe binder for the recipes. If I can't find the recipe in the binder, in just a few clicks of the mouse, I can always find what I am looking for online.

Harry Potter Nativity

I live in a house with true fans of Harry Potter. Andrew made a Harry Potter themed Lego nativity to put under his Christmas tree in his bedroom.

As long as he didn't make Lord Voldemort as baby Jesus, I don't see a problem with it.

Treasure Chest Love Notes

Yesterday, as I mentioned, I received a note from Benjamin telling me how much he loved me. Today, when he came home from school, he hurried in the kitchen and said, "Mom, I got my first love note!" I responded with a "Really?" as he handed me the folded piece of yellow paper.

I asked if he wanted me to read it, and he enthusiastically smiled and said, "Yes!"

As I unfolded the paper, I wondered what the note would say and at the same time, I was flattered Benjamin would want me to read it. It was a sweet note, what I call a "yes/no" note.

I asked Benjamin if he wrote back to the girl responding to the note. Surprisingly, he answered "No." Taken aback, I asked him why he didn't answer the girl, for I had visions of a sad, young lady thinking she put her heart on the line, and didn't get an answer.

Laughing, he said, "I did respond. In person. I thought it was nicer to tell her in person. I said "yes." " Wow. What confidence for a twelve year old! I asked what he was going to do with the note, and he responded he would be right back as he headed to his bedroom. When he returned to the kitchen, he held out his hands to show me a small wooden treasure chest. "I am going to keep it in here."

Of course, I am biased, but I do believe the young lady who wrote the note, is a lucky girl.

Benjamin's Mom

The best part of my day today was being the recipient of a note from my youngest son, Benjamin. Today at school, he participated in Challenge Day. At the end of the day, each participant choose to write a note to someone either to apologize for a wrongdoing, or thank them for the role they play in their life.

I was so blessed to receive a note from him telling me how much he loves me. Not a day goes by in my life, when I am not thankful for him. I was so honored he chose to write a note to me.

I love being his mom.

Magical Christmas Trees

I just love Christmas trees. I remember when I was younger, after the tree was all decorated, laying at the base of the tree, squinting and looking up at the lights on the tree.

It looked so magical.

Tonight, I saw a Christmas tree decorated in hydrangeas, with white lights and gold ribbon. I was so tempted to lay on the ground and look up at the lights, but I refrained.

Someday when I find a tree worthy, I will muster up the courage.

Elevator

Tonight I watched Andrew perform at the high school holiday band concert. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo and I am proud of his musical accomplishments.

As a mother, I can close my eyes and remember the sweet boy who wore overalls all the time, and made the best peanut butter and honey sandwiches for me. He always made up games for us to play and I was amazed at the complexity of his thoughts.

Now I look at the loving, caring young man who carries himself with confidence and I am proud to be his mom. The best thing is, I know if I asked him to play "Elevator" he would smile his big, genuine smile, laugh and say "Remember when we use to play that? That was so much fun! Ding!"

My Wonderful Madeline

Today I had the fun adventure of spending time with my wonderful Madeline. It is days like today, when I really fully appreciate having a daughter. Although she is not a huge fan of shopping, she asked if I would go with her to help pick out some clothes.

She looked at me and said, "Just pick out what ever you think will look good, Mom. I trust you." It is like having a full size doll I can dress as I like, and to top it off, she looks absolutely beautiful in everything. How could I not have fun going shopping with her?

Yes, she is wonderful.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Tonight was fun because I played Just Dance 2 with my youngest son on the Wii. I haven't played in quite awhile, so it was fun to play with him.

Benjamin and I played seven dances, and at 32 years older than him, I held my own, winning three out of the seven. When we came upstairs after our dance off, Andrew was laughing.

I asked him what was so funny, and he said he heard me screaming so loud he knew I must have set a record. I laughed and admitted to setting the game record for Should I Stay or Should I Go? by The Clash.

Benjamin coyly looked at me and said, "You're not going to post that on Facebook, are you?"

I shook my head and responded, "Nope, just on my blog."

Inner Peace

Tonight, I attended an Advent by candlelight event at the church, and the theme was "Peace." As I listened to the people speak, I was thinking about what peace means to me.

I have been on a personal journey for awhile, and in a way, I suppose I am searching for some type of inner peace. During the course of this journey, I realized I have neglected my spiritual, emotional and physical well-being for many years resulting in a lack of inner peace.

Today, I realized I am responsible for finding my own inner peace. Some people may help me along the way, but ultimately, it is my responsibility.

Gifts from the Heart

When I think of romantic Christmas stories, the first one that comes to mind is the short story The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry written in 1906. It is a well known story about a newlywed couple who have very little money and want to buy gifts for one another for Christmas.

Della has long, beautiful hair she sells to purchase a watch chain for her husband's most prized possession, his pocket watch. Meanwhile, Jim sells his pocket watch to purchase a set of tortoise combs with jewels for Della's hair. When Jim and Della exchange gifts they realize the gift they received is truly a gift from the heart.

When I was at the mall tonight, I wondered how many gifts are given from the heart?

My Treasured Book

I have often wrote about my mom reading to me as a child, and I am very thankful she did take the time to read to me. I have one of the books she read stories to me from on the bookshelf in the family room titled The Illustrated Treasury of Children's Literature edited by Margaret Martignoni, copyright date of 1955.

It was this book where I believe I was first introduced to so many stories and poems. It is a large book, and I remember when I was growing up, using the book to press flowers between the pages. The strange thing is, some of the pressed flowers from my youth remain in the book today.

For me, the sentimental aspect of the book is not only that my mom read from it to me as a child, but the pencil check marks in the table of contents remind me what stories I read to my children. It is one of my most treasured books.