Learning to Dive

Last night I went to the high school swim meet, and watched my daughter swim on the varsity team.

When she was younger, I felt it was important to let her explore all the extracurricular activities she expressed interest in. I believed, foolishly, because she was my daughter, she would share many of the same interests as I. I had visions of her drawing, and creating, and being incredibly artistic. Where I had come up short, I believed she would surpass me.

Little did I know, that is not what fate would bring me.

Instead, I have the gift of a daughter who is uniquely, well, herself.

Before her freshman year in high school, she decided she wanted to join the high school swim team. I remember looking at her in disbelief, and thinking how can this be, she doesn't even know how to dive in a pool?

All her life, she has been an athlete. Basketball, soccer, cross-country, and even the painful experience of hurdles in track. She has an incredible pain tolerance, and once when she was playing capture the flag with her cross-country team mates, injured her toe, enough where it was twisted and pointed to the sky. Not a tear left her eyes. Yes, she is a an athlete.

Swimming in the lake has always been part of her life, but I never expected her to want to swim competitively. So with the cards stacked against her, she met with the high school coach, and I remember grimacing as I watched her learning how to dive. She joined the swim team, concerned with only improving her time, and seeing herself as her only competition.

Last night, two years have passed since I watched her learn how to dive. As I sat in the same stands, I watched her gracefully dive into the pool. It was beautiful, but even more beautiful was her looking up at me in the stands after the race; and as our eyes connected, we both smiled.

My daughter and I don't share the same talents, what we share is stronger.

Never Touching These Lips

A few weeks ago, I shared with a friend an amusing story about my youngest son...

"This morning, I took Benjamin to the doctor for his annual physical. He and I were talking after the appointment about vaccinations, and he wanted to know all the variations of Hepatitis. I explained to him Hepatitis A is usually caused by consuming contaminated fruits and vegetables, and before I could say any more....

He grabbed my arm, looked at me with a deadpan stare from those beautiful blue-gray eyes, raised his eyebrow, smirked, and said "Obviously, I don't have to worry about ever getting Hepatitis A." I laughed. "Don't worry, Mom. You don't have to worry about fruits and vegetables ever touching these lips." His timing is impeccable."

Yesterday, Benjamin and I were watching CNN and the news included a report about the fatal outbreak on food-borne illness involving cantaloupes. Those beautiful eyes caught my attention, and he said "I told you Mom, fruits and vegetables are never touching these lips."

I am so blessed to be his Mom.

Twisted Carpe Diem

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

What seems like a lifetime ago, in freshman honor's English, I was fortunate to have a wonderful English professor, Marge Boal. Her love of the written word inspired me, and I spent many non-classroom hours talking to her about life, love and language. She encouraged and challenged me, and our friendship grew. In my youth, I couldn't help but notice the wrinkles, yet I admired her zest for life. Sitting in her office, surrounded by endless stacks of books, I remember the day she shared with me her illness. She would die within two years.

I have carried her love of language with me for many years, and The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost was one of her favorite poems. I think it depends on where you are in life as to the interpretation of the words, but consistently remains a poem about the freedom to choose, and reminds us we do not know what we are choosing. It is not about the right path, just the one we choose, and as Robert Frost, so elequently titles the poem, it is really about the path we do not take. Definitely, a twisted "carpe diem."

Photos

I am working on organizing all the family photos and videos on the new computer. I know once I consolidate everything, it will be easier, but it sure is time consuming!

Rain

I tried all weekend to distract myself and keep myself busy, and I think I was relatively successful. However, today is different. It is raining and incredibly quiet around the house. The kids are off at school, Ben is still fishing, and I find myself unable to focus; or even function for that matter. I tried to think of it as a weekend to myself where I could watch movies, and focus on the kids. I did spend time with each of them, and watched way too many movies - Serendipity; Definitely, Maybe; Something's Gotta Give and even started the Dead Poet's Society with two of the three children. However, today it is raining so hard, I can't even go on my morning walk, and for some reason, I can't find the beauty in the rain today.

A Hot Fudge Sundae

Yesterday, my youngest son wanted to go to McDonald's. Although I tried to convince him to pick any restaurant besides McDonald's, I knew it was a losing battle. His craving for chicken nuggets and french fries was far beyond any form of rational thinking.

As we sat in a big, comfy, bar-height booth, in actually a fairly nicely decorated fast food restaurant, my son snacked on a ten piece chicken nugget while peeling off the deep fried batter.

We talked about school and friends, and reminisced the times only he and I went to McDonald's when the other kids were in school. He tried my grilled chicken off my southwest salad, agreed it was slimy, and announced the overcooked chicken nuggets had too much batter.

As I watched him confidently walk up to the counter to order dessert for the two of us, I thought of the kindergartner I once brought to the same place, and we sat in the same booth. I remembered how he thought McDonald's chicken nuggets were the greatest food in the world. As my preteen walked back to the table, dessert tray in hand with a hot fudge sundae for me, and an Oreo McFlurry for himself, he was smiling.

He knows eating ice cream is a splurge for me and wondered aloud why I would pick a hot fudge McDonald's sundae to eat. I smiled, laughed, and said, because it makes me happy. He smiled back, pointed out he never had a McDonald's hot fudge sundae, and asked to try mine.

I shared my sundae with him.

Right before he went to sleep that night, he told me he had a good day, and the highlight was sharing the hot fudge sundae with me. I told him it was the best part of my day also.

Watching 'The Thomas Crown Affair' with the Scent of Michael Kors

First time in a long while where I haven't done my morning walk by 8 am. I woke up really early this morning, and since dawn had not even broke, I decided to watch a movie instead - The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Bronson (Thomas Crown) and Renee Russo (Catherine Banning.)

As much as I love early morning walks, it was nice to curl up on the couch with my warm blanket, and watch a movie. Even though the movie is twelve years old, I absolutely love the clothes Catherine wears in the movie - the tailoring is so classic - she was absolutely stunning in every scene. Curious to see who designed the clothes for Renee Russo's character, I laughed when I saw it was Michael Kors.

Last night, Madeline decided she wanted to take her brothers out to dinner at the restaurant where she works. Ben is up north on his annual salmon fishing trip, so I was faced with finding something to do. A safe haven for me is the bookstore. As I wandered in the aisles, unable to focus, I remembered I wanted to see if Ulta carried Michale Kor's perfume. I wanted to try something different, my favorite perfume is Estee Lauder Pleasures Bloom, but sure enough, I headed home with a bottle of Michael Kor's fragrance.

So as I was curled up on the couch this morning, anxiously waiting for the next Catherine outfit in the movie, I was conscious of my new perfume. I couldn't help but laugh when I realized I was not only admiring Michael Kor's design work, but his fragrance also! (And, yes, I do watch Project Runway.)

Few design disappointments in the movie - I was disappointed Catherine didn't buy the red dress she looked at when she was walking with Thomas in New York. I was disappointed there was never a scene with Catherine wearing the necklace Thomas gave her. Both were gorgeous!

Storyline was romantic, and incredibly passionate, with a happy ending.

It made me smile, and was worthy of postponing my walk to watch.

Warm....Like a Sweater

First day of Autumn. Hmmm...What does that mean to me?

Sweaters.

Nothing is as comfortable as a favorite sweater. It makes me feel...safe...warm....cozy...and I guess, loved. Just something about it makes me smile. My favorite sweater, thanks for being there. I needed you, I didn't want to be alone.

Angel in the Cemetery

As summer comes to an end, I reflect back over the year so far and the events the have brought me to where I am today.

My favorite high school teacher died, and I never made the time to say thank you.

I watched my daughter leave my side for a trip to Europe, and saw a glimpse of the woman she is becoming.

I cried, heart-broken, holding Carson tight, as the veterinarian struggled to find a vein to end my dog's life.

I made secret handshakes with my middle child, had the best Disney partner - ever!, and watched him confidently start high school.

I realized how thankful I am for my youngest child with all his charm, and his ability to make me laugh.

I watched my husband learn to find balance in work-life, and fulfill a dream by finding the boat.

I stood before a priest, confessing my sins.

I started walking many, many miles a day.

I stood in a cemetery, mesmerized by an angel statue.

Reconsidering Medium

In one form or another, I have been scrapbooking since I was a teenager. Probably even before that if you count all the paper and crayons I consumed as a child. Without a doubt, the need for me to create has always been a piece of the puzzle that makes me who I am.

This year, I started a journey to find.....me. I can never deny the creative part of me. To take it away would be taking away an integral part. The projects I have in my head will always be much more grandeur than anything I can create. But what I am learning, is I need to create for me in order to satisfy my creative spirit.

Throughout the years, I have expressed my creativity in many different forms. Scrapbooking. Sewing. Drawing. Writing. I think I have done it all. I have been successful enough with my scrapbooking endeavors to have been published in books and magazines. Creating objects and clothing out of a simple piece of fabric has brought me so much joy. Watching my children learn from my talents is the most satisfying feeling. Words have always brought me joy, either reading or writing. I tried my hand at writing a novel this year, but when my heart wasn't in it, I knew it was a creativity I wasn't ready to share, so it was best kept inside.

Since the kids are back in school, it is usually the time when I start scrapbooking again. Usually, September is the month where I walk in my studio, and the projects I have thought about over the summer months, get my attention again. This year is different. This is the year, I am realizing I need to create to satisfy my creative spirit, and I am finally confident enough to say I am reconsidering my medium.

I'll keep you posted.